Kelsey Christiansen The Alcoholic Slore. This is Kelsey Christiansen she moved to Chicago from the burbs a few years back as has been passing that loose roast beef cooch around town ever since. You can find her sloppy drunk every weekend begging guys with money to sit at their table or to take pictures of the bottles of tequila. She’s almost 40 years old and sleeps on a air mattress with multiple roommates and from what I’ve heard the place has roaches. I know a few guys in the area who have smashed and word is she has DRD so be careful if you come across this floozy Kelsey Christiansen.