When He’s Been Caught Cheating: What Can A Man Do?

Own up to it

The first thing you want to do as soon as you’ve been caught cheating, is to avoid the lies. Lies lead to fear. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. To avoid all that lousy suffering, just be upfront and tell the truth about what you did, how long it’s been going on for, and most importantly: why you copied your work from Wikipedia.

It was bad enough using the website at all, and when the ol’ wife caught cheating ol’ you using the free encyclopedia that can be edited by anyone and have false information, that could be the last straw for your marriage. Heck, your entire life. There’s no coming back from that. Worse yet, deleting the evidence by removing the whole section from Wikipedia doesn’t make it yours, and who knows how you could live with yourself after this foul act? This wasn’t ‘big brain’. This was big in the sad department. As in, S.A.D., which stands for: is there Something After Divorce? That, you will soon find out because there is no universe in which a divorce attorney could prevent you from losing the house, the kids, and your life’s savings after you’ve been caught cheating. Especially by copying from an unreliable source such as Wikipedia, even though they cite their sources.

Become better from your mistakes

It’s only up from here. Cheating at anything in life is bad enough, but being caught is probably the lowest low that one can experience besides looking at the monthly tax bill. That’s why it’s important to look for good resources such as Unfinished Man, which can help you get your life back on track with its heartwarming advice and excellent strategies to actually become a decent person. Sort of like a finished man, at the end of it. Heck, start representing, and print out a really low .JPEG image of the logo and slap it on a flag to wave in the wind outside your property. It’s a 21st century power move, makes you look courageous, and is a lot better than when you were caught cheating on your country with another flag you had up outside.

Having your front lawn decorated with flags of major terrorist groups is not the form of security that should be condoned. Sure, it gets you free 24-hour surveillance from the FBI and CIA, but that’s not the kind of attention you should be striving for. Fake an illness or something else instead, because the flag idea is far too creative. Not to mention offensive. Security costs money, but so does the government, which they get from your own taxes. See how it’s looping back around here? It’s all connected. Just like you’re connected to crimes you didn’t commit because of this silly decision.

Repair or cut off the relationship

After you’ve had your way with the relationship, the path either way is going to be difficult, regardless of which you choose. It’s time to buckle up for a ride out or through, and you need to decide whether what sold you in the first place is still there, or if it’s time to make a cancellation on your relationship/subscription. Sometimes, online customer service is worse than your wife caught cheating on you, so you make it worse by cheating on them, and in turn, the system. Maybe even the whole solar system – because there’s no galaxy in which this is morally legal.

You need to decide whether the hot tub is costing you too much money for maintenance, or if you don’t want to let go of the heat widening your blood vessels and sending nutrient-rich blood throughout your body, releasing endorphins and all kinds of hard-to-pronounce hormones that are like the G-spot of your heart. This is, of course, a very tough choice. Since you’re getting rid of it though, telling customer service that you can’t afford it anymore won’t be enough. Five words can fix your problem though, and those words conclude with the phrase: “I am going to prison”, which won’t feel right – especially if true – but it will get your subscription cancelled faster than you’ll be read the Miranda rights.

Keep others out of it

Now that the relationship is in an ill state, you don’t want any of your friends or family involved in the situation. They will only make it worse. You’ll either be given bad advice, or have to listen to negative opinions. Some will blame you, and others will probably also blame you because even if someone does oddly agree with the cheating aspect, nobody will agree with the aspect of getting caught. The best way to guarantee keeping them all away? Put up a sign on your door saying you’re in quarantine and they can’t enter.

We live in a society in terror because of the pandemic; either terrified of contracting the virus, or terrified of being told the truth. The latter of which, you definitely don’t want to be associated with. Keep safe, and keep all that feedback away whilst you work on your problems yourself, because you’re the only one who can fix it. Just like you can fix that sign up quite easily. It might need laminating so it doesn’t get wet in the rain, though. This may not be a morally good idea, but it’s an idea, alright.